Jul 14, 2011

2 am

Chronic inability to fall asleep or remain asleep for an adequate length of time. 
Sleep Deprivation:
A form of psychological torture inflicted by depriving the victim of sleep. 
The condition of feeling sad or despondent. 
Clinical Depression:
A psychiatric disorder characterized by an inability to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite, anhedonia (an inability to experience pleasure), feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness, and thoughts of death. 
Deep mental anguish, as that arising from bereavement.
Stages of Grief:
Depression-stuck here

I measure every Grief I meet
by Emily Dickinson

I measure every Grief I meet
With narrow, probing, eyes –
I wonder if It weighs like Mine –
Or has an Easier size.

I wonder if They bore it long –
Or did it just begin –
I could not tell the Date of Mine –
It feels so old a pain –

I wonder if it hurts to live –
And if They have to try –
And whether – could They choose between –
It would not be – to die –

I note that Some – gone patient long –
At length, renew their smile –
An imitation of a Light
That has so little Oil –

I wonder if when Years have piled –
Some Thousands – on the Harm –
That hurt them early – such a lapse
Could give them any Balm –

Or would they go on aching still
Through Centuries of Nerve –
Enlightened to a larger Pain –
In Contrast with the Love –

The Grieved – are many – I am told –
There is the various Cause –
Death – is but one – and comes but once –
And only nails the eyes –

There's Grief of Want – and grief of Cold –
A sort they call "Despair" -
There's Banishment from native Eyes –
In sight of Native Air –

And though I may not guess the kind –
Correctly – yet to me
A piercing Comfort it affords
In passing Calvary –

To note the fashions – of the Cross –
And how they're mostly worn –
Still fascinated to presume
That Some – are like my own –

Jul 7, 2011

He was....

true..to himself and to me...
...he was proud of his children and what he had made of his life...
...he was thankful...
...he was  not "career driven" but worked hard to provide for his family...
...he was a good friend...
...though strong and determined he was tender hearted...
...he was giving of himself...
...he was pretty much "set in his ways"...
...he was, not often but sometimes, unyielding...
...he was too conservative...
...he watched too much Fox Cable News..
...he put me first...
...he was forgiving...
...I'm everything I am because he loved me...
 ...he exhibited grace under pressure...
...even through suffering and death...
..he was more than I can put into words...

...he is gone and my sorrow is unending...

Jul 6, 2011

A proud grandmother

A couple times each year Barbara packs up her grandkids, changes of clothing, snacks, toys, blanket, etc. and heads over to Portrait Innovations...sometimes she's there up to 3 hrs...depending on how busy they are.  The great thing about this company is you view the pictures on a TV screen and make the selections you want to have printed...then, wait a while ? - and take them home with you..along with a disc for viewing on your computer. Here are some of todays shots..
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