Note to Self

Encouraging quotes sound so "right"...so why do they cause me to feel worse...Is it because I am so far away from the end results promised..is it because they make me feel like such a failure..is it because they cause me to consider that I may just not have what it takes to be the person that I want to be...the person I thought that I was....just wondering..


Repeat over and over and over and over...and try to believe it .

"Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but by how we react to what happens…
Not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life.
A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst, a spark that creates extraordinary results."

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
~ Charles Swindoll
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"Adversity can be a witness!…not only is it making us stronger it is temporary. But people are watching to see how it affects us. How we let it make us or break us."

“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure”
~Peter Marshall~

Mood swings are rapid -- and often extreme -- fluctuations in one's emotional state, involving alternating between feelings of happiness and well-being and feelings of anger, irritability or depression.

"Some days are diamonds,

Barbara brought me a beautiful orchid plant...

I love my little kitchen (when it's uncluttered)

Bobs "corner"..

his chair,  favorite picture, some of his  western art collection, bibles, his baseball signed by Johnny Bench, and his  house slippers

"some days are stone.. some days the hard times won't leave me alone"

The Big Tease

That was yesterday...in the 70's...but watch out for February.! It was nice to be able to go out without bundling up. Would love to have been able to do some work in the yard but was unable to...will I ever regain some energy ????

I've just been staying in...knitting, re-arranging, trying to get some boxes of pictures better organized, attempting the impossible of finding more room in my closets ...just by moving things around...watching movies. 'Notice I omitted "cleaning house"..my bedroom is in a shambles...still unpacked from trip last weekend to New Orleans..the suitcase is open and items strewed around on the beds and chair..and floor! When I have to get dressed to go out somewhere I try several different things until I'm half-satisfied about what to wear...but fail to re-hang or put away...THAT'S NOT ME...

I can't seem to get myself to bed at night..even tho I get very tired I just don't want to go to sleep...strange. When I tire of the computer I usually stretch out on the couch, watch movies till I fall asleep...cloths on, lamps on...life changes when you suddenly are living alone with on one to be accountable to...I even drink straight out of the OJ bottle!!!.skip pouring into a glass..that's what kids and/or most men do! Some days I don't brush my teeth or change clothes 'til afternoon.!

Ran across the lyrics to a song that pretty much describes how I feel some days.

"Another day wasted out of time
I can't get out of this
Altered state of mind
I'm going overboard
My conscience meets decline
Into Reality
I know this can't be fine

Cause I'm all messed up
Making prefect nonsense
Drowning in my doubt too well
Cause I'm all messed up
Going nowhere fast but circles in my mind
So blind

Who are these voices in my head
I can't go on like this
Living like the dead
I haven't slept so long
Feeling sad I dread
I'm talking to myself
Forgot what I just said"

Not all my days are like that..
Gonna get up from this computer, have a glass of OJ,  go clean up my bedroom and get ready for church.